9.5 Must-Have Life-Skills

This article covers practical skills for every day life that pay major dividends with minimal expense.  Learning the techniques and setting up a plan to build them into your life will take some discipline.  Give it 21 days and the habits will take.

The (Learn How!) will be replaced with helpful links in an upcoming update.



Get Online First, Eat Breakfast Second!

By BRAD STONE

Karl and Dorsey Gude of East Lansing, Mich., can remember simpler mornings, not too long ago. They sat together and chatted as they ate breakfast. They read the newspaper and competed only with the television for the attention of their two teenage sons.

That was so last century. Today, Mr. Gude wakes at around 6 a.m. to check his work e-mail and his Facebook and Twitter accounts. The two boys, Cole and Erik, start each morning with text messages, video games and Facebook.

The new routine quickly became a source of conflict in the family, with Ms. Gude complaining that technology was eating into family time. But ultimately even she partially succumbed, cracking open her laptop after breakfast.

“Things that I thought were unacceptable a few years ago are now commonplace in my house,” she said, “like all four of us starting the day on four computers in four separate rooms.”

Technology has shaken up plenty of life’s routines, but for many people it has completely altered the once predictable rituals at the start of the day.

This is morning in America in the Internet age. After six to eight hours of network deprivation — also known as sleep — people are increasingly waking up and lunging for cellphones and laptops, sometimes even before swinging their legs to the floor and tending to more biologically urgent activities.

“It used to be you woke up, went to the bathroom, maybe brushed your teeth and picked up the newspaper,” said Naomi S. Baron, a professor of linguistics at American University, who has written about technology’s push into everyday life. “But what we do first now has changed dramatically. I’ll be the first to admit: the first thing I do is check my e-mail.”

The Gudes’ sons sleep with their phones next to their beds, so they start the day with text messages in place of alarm clocks. Mr. Gude, an instructor at Michigan State University, sends texts to his two sons to wake up.

“We use texting as an in-house intercom,” he said. “I could just walk upstairs, but they always answer their texts.” The Gudes recently began shutting their devices down on weekends to account for the decrease in family time.

In other households, the impulse to go online before getting out the door adds an extra layer of chaos to the already discombobulating morning scramble.

Weekday mornings have long been frenetic, disjointed affairs. Now families that used to fight over the shower or the newspaper tussle over access to the lone household computer — or about whether they should be using gadgets at all, instead of communicating with one another.

“They used to have blankies; now they have phones, which even have their own umbilical cord right to the charger,” said Liz Perle, a mother in San Francisco who laments the early-morning technology immersion of her two teenage children. “If their beds were far from the power outlets, they would probably sleep on the floor.”

The surge of early risers is reflected in online and wireless traffic patterns. Internet companies that used to watch traffic levels rise only when people booted up at work now see the uptick much earlier.

Arbor Networks, a Boston company that analyzes Internet use, says that Web traffic in the United States gradually declines from midnight to around 6 a.m. on the East Coast and then gets a huge morning caffeine jolt. “It’s a rocket ship that takes off at 7 a.m,” said Craig Labovitz, Arbor’s chief scientist.

Akamai, which helps sites like Facebook and Amazon keep up with visitor demand, says traffic takes off even earlier, at around 6 a.m. on the East Coast. Verizon Wireless reported the number of text messages sent between 7 and 10 a.m. jumped by 50 percent in July, compared with a year earlier.

Both adults and children have good reasons to wake up and log on. Mom and Dad might need to catch up on e-mail from colleagues in different time zones. Children check text messages and Facebook posts from friends with different bedtimes — and sometime forget their chores in the process.

In May, Gabrielle Glaser of Montclair, N.J., bought her 14-year-old daughter, Moriah, an Apple laptop for her birthday. In the weeks after, Moriah missed the school bus three times and went from walking the family Labradoodle for 20 minutes each morning to only briefly letting the dog outside.

Moriah concedes that she neglected the bus and dog, and blames Facebook, where the possibility that crucial updates from friends might be waiting draws her online as soon as she wakes. “I have some friends that are up early and chatting,” she said. “There is definitely a pull to check it.”

Some families have tried to set limits on Internet use in the mornings. James Steyer, founder of Common Sense Media, a nonprofit that deals with children and entertainment, wakes every morning at 6 and spends the next hour on his BlackBerry, managing e-mail from contacts in different parts of the world.

But when he meets his wife, Liz, and their four children, ages 5 to 16, at the breakfast table, no laptops or phones are allowed.

Mr. Steyer says he and his sons feel the temptation of technology early. Kirk, 14, often runs through much of his daily one-hour allotment of video-game time in the morning.

Even Jesse, 5, has started asking each morning if he can play games on his father’s iPhone. And Mr. Steyer said he constantly feels the tug of waiting messages on his BlackBerry, even during morning hours that are reserved for family time.

“You have to resist the impulse. You have to switch from work mode to parenting mode,” Mr. Steyer said. “But meeting my own standard is tough.”



7.5 Top Work/Life Balance Stories of the Year

By Michelle Goodman, originally appearing in NWJobs.

Happy New Year, folks. To wind down the year, my last post gave my picks for the top work/life balance stories of 2008. Today, I’m giving my predictions for the biggest work/life balance stories we’ll see in the year ahead:

1. The continued rise of flex work. Realizing that you can’t do the same amount of work with less people power, companies with common sense will choose flexible work arrangements over layoffs. Instituting telecommuting, shorter workweeks, and job sharing as cost-cutting measures not only keeps your people employed, it keeps their morale up during difficult financial times. Layoffs, of course, have the opposite effect.

2. The “working” retirement. Lewis Lin, a Seattle-based interviewing coach, wrote in with this one, and I couldn’t agree more. Increased life expectancy and cost of living have already contributed greatly to more and more people working well into their golden years. Fifty- and sixty-somethings who saw their retirement funds shrink by 40 percent or more in recent months will have to think twice about walking away from work any time soon. Many simply won’t be able to afford it.

3. The accidental small business owner. Those with means who’ve been laid off from a floundering industry (banking comes to mind) might find it easier to start a low-overhead business than find a job with a salary comparable to the one they lost. In October, business strategist Rhonda Abrams argued in USA Today that a recession is actually a fine time to start a low-overhead business. For one thing, the competition is likely weakened. For another, customers are hungry for cheap alternatives. (Entire article here.)

4. The reluctant freelancer. Take it from a long-time freelancer, if you have a service to sell, it’s easier during a recession to find organizations to hire you for project-based freelance and contract work than it is to find organizations to hire you for a full-time position. Why? Because it’s far less expensive for companies to farm out the work sporadically than to open a salaried position. Any time the country slips into a recession, you’ll find leagues laid-off writers, designers, programmers, admins, and project managers turning to freelance work to make ends meet.

5. The marriage of convenience. In a 2007 poll conducted by leading health policy research group Kaiser Family Foundation, 7 percent of Americans admittedly to marrying so they or their partner could get on the other’s health insurance plan. Given the high unemployment figures right now, I’d be shocked if more couples didn’t step up their nuptial plans for financial reasons.

6. The putting off of parenthood. Those pint-sized bundles of joy cost a small fortune. As the Chicago Tribune reports, the annual cost of raising a child in a middle-income, married-couple, two-child family was about $11,000 or $12,000 a year in 2007, depending on geographic location. Then there’s the whole matter of the college fund. If ever there was a year not to incur those added expenses, it’s this one.

7. The never-ending fascination with the Obamas’ family life. This young, history-making political family appears to have it all: beauty, brains, power, heart, education, ambition, compassion, connections, the world’s rapt attention, and the world’s seemingly infinite problems resting squarely on their shoulders. How can we resist gawking and seeing what we can learn from them?

and…7.5. You are amongst million of people newly interested in Work/Life balance.  Fast becoming a top Google trend “Work/Life” balance is increasingly fashionable.  As nervous breakdowns and mid-life crisis’ exist and so do people who want to avoid them, balance is a hot hot topic.



9.5 Simple Habits to Make Your Life Better

I will be exploring these in depth in future articles.  This serves as a placeholder.  This is my personal list of ‘Simple Habits to Make Your Life Better’.  Leave a comment with your favorites.

  1. Live within your means
  2. Get regular rest.  Fyi, If you are tired, you aren’t rested.
  3. Pay bills online, pay none in person
  4. Get regular haircuts
  5. Plan your life in increments of endless dreams, 3 goals, 3 tasks per goal, 7 days per task.  Live your life in 7 day increments, allowing goal-time, personal time, leisure time, & learning time, etc…
  6. Exercise your body 3 times per week for 20 minutes, or more.
  7. Watch no regular television.
  8. Watch no televised news (if you must get news, get it from the least sensationalized sources, i.e. NYTImes (But even that’s not great.)
  9. Avoid talking about taxes and politics

and…9.5. Reflect on the negative, dwell on the positive.